To The Man That Told Me, “We’re Better Off Divorced”
Since recently getting married we’ve gone through the whole post-wedding, newlywed process. And today’s task was changing my last name….I’ve put it off for quite some time. The idea of spending half the day at the DMV will never sound appealing. But today was the day I bit the bullet and went to the DMV, thankfully my sweet husband offered to come with me.
We both had a long day at work and filling out the forms was the last thing either us of wanted to do. Well, we were confused on a piece of rather simple information. And we were discussing it back and forth, I was sure I was right and he was sure he was right.
Well the security officer came over to see if we needed any help.
I was glad he came over and quickly explained how we just got married… And right away he said, “Oh I’m sorry.” I thought to myself, Never mind…we can figure it out. We don’t want another person who’s gonna tell us how awful marriage is.
But he wasn’t gonna just leave.
Instead he had to go on saying, “and you two are married, again I’m sorry!”
To which I replied, “Well yes. This is my wonderful husband,” (and I meant it, I suddenly felt like I had to stand up for us. Sure we were confused and didn’t know what to put on the form. We weren’t aggressively fighting or disrespecting each other, we just couldn’t decide who was right, which caught his attention.) I explained once again what we were confused about, and instead of answering my question he continued to tell us about how horrible marriage is…Really? Just really?
He told us a happy wife = a happy life. (Which is true, but it also goes the other way too) He went on explaining how unhappy his own marriage was, how much he and his wife would argue, and how that’s all marriage is. So he divorced her years ago, and because of his divorce he is so much happier now.
I’m not sorry that I’m married.
No matter how many people tell me how awful marriage is, to me it’s not. My marriage is not horrible. For all those people out there who have told me they’re sorry for me (or just before I got married that there was still time to run…) trust me I am more sorry for you. I’m sorry you’re divorced, and that you’re bitter and have to shove a lecture down my throat about how unfair life is and how cruel women are…I’m sorry for you, and I truly hope you find happiness.
Being married gives me the opportunity to hang out with my best friend everyday. It’s a chance for me to love someone and for someone to love me back Everyday.
Marriage is working together, you and your partner are a team. You have to have each other’s back, once you enter a marriage you can’t just look out for yourself anymore. You two get to take on the world together, to me life seems a lot less difficult. Challenges that come up are easier with my husband by my side.
AND I wouldn’t have it any other way.
To have a great marriage it takes work. You two can’t just co-exist in the same house, but rather work together to build something.
Marriage is completely about service. Before we were married, I was given advice to get after my husband if he doesn’t pick up his clothes or do his dishes. Otherwise I would just be his maid for the rest of my life.
I don’t see it that way though. The reason why I clean the house, and tidy his stuff isn’t because it’s my job, but because I love him. I serve him out of love and he does the same right back to me. It’s a 2 way street…otherwise it’s just a hostage situation.
When we fight we forgive each other the same day. We talk things out and we make sure to never go to bed angry. Marriage is a chance to practice unconditional love, where you forgive again and again, and you try to do better again and again.
To me Marriage is wonderful.